How to Get Your Child to Listen in 90 Seconds – Parenting Expert Jane Nelsen Gives her Secrets

Published on October 17, 2008 In 90 seconds you’ll quickly understand how Dr. Jane Nelsen, author of Positive Discipline, can teach parents how to get their children to become better listeners. This is one of Dr. Nelsen’s most asked question – “How can I get my child to listen?” Parents might be surprised to learn that if THEY were better listeners their children might be as well. Parents are busy talking, telling, explaining, going on and on about why their child should be listening. And of course, while mom and dad are rambling away, kids tune out! So if you want your children to listen to you, listen to them. Children are much more likely to listen to you if you FIRST, listen to them. Many parents feel it is their job to tell their children everything. Tell them what to do, what happened, what to feel about it, etc. The more we tell, the less they listen. Dr. Nelsen’s Positive Discipline approach to parenting teaches the importance of ASKING QUESTIONS! “Honey, what were you trying to accomplish? What do you think caused that to happen? How do you feel about it? What did you decide? What ideas do you have to solve the problem?” Most parents are surprised at how effective this approach can be. Yes, it may take a few more minutes in the beginning but the long-term benefits are huge. For example, we tell our children, “Don’t forget to take your coat!” That seems like the right thing to do as a caring parent but the reality is, it would be much more effective to say, “What do you need to take so that you won’t get cold today?” Take note of yourself today and notice how often you TELL your child what to do instead of asking open ended, thinking questions. The goal of the Positive Discipline approach is to use every opportunity as a learning opportunity. Positive Discipline allows your child to learn life skills through everyday experiences. Positive Discipline is not about punishment. Positive Discipline is not about control and power. So what is Positive Discipline? Positive Discipline is both Kind and Firm at the same time. Positive Discipline helps children feel a sense of Belonging and Significance. Positive Discipline is a non-punitive approach that works over the long term not just the short term. There are more parenting tips in this video and many more on Dr. Nelsen’s website.. Parenting expert, Dr. Jane Nelsen is available for keynotes, one-on-one family counseling, radio, TV, and other media interviews. She has written 19 books, hundreds of parenting articles, and appeared on major media for years. Get your FREE Parenting Guide at